Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
