I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
