Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
