if i can run in heels then i can drive
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
