what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
