the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
