Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
