Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
