Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
you traded sex for a burrito?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
