He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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