what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
he was CRYING into my vagina
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
