Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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