I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
