Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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