Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
