So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
