He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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