Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
