So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
