He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
