Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
