I feel great
I just peed on a car
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
