You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
