But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
