So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
