Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I will die if light touches me.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
