Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
