the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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