Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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