Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
My vagina just clenched in fear
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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