you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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