and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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