he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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