can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
