dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
