Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
