One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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