apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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