D3 body, D1 cock
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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