i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
