I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
