You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
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