is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize