you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
