i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
