If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Randomize
