Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
