perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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