doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
