She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
