with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I have tasted many bathrooms
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
