maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
